Saturday, August 2, 2008

wah. today minjia nv come. n i lost my 50cents banana:( i told stalker to help me buy another one for minjia if she gng for gift tmr le:P hee. really love stalker. haha. stalker is meiying. she's my adorable gift of reading junior. sec3 n in jurong sec. haha. she lives v near me. n she's v nice n sweet.

after today. i can only say.. i really v dependent on stalker! haha.. n i realised tt vivien n meiying really v good gals. is it coz they were under me previously so know my temper better n could sensed tt i was unhappy? or is it tt they're jus more sensitive n nice? or is it tt they coz we closer.. so they also nicer to me? humm. i also dunno..

bt i v touched today coz wen i realised e new volunteers recycled e papers tt i wanted to use for my grp's session.. i was quite unhappy. jus e feeling of v detached coming back again. coz now is like they're in control. sometimes e sense of ownership is lost. tho i m nt exactly totally ignorant of wat's happening.. bt i feel as if i cannot even keep e things i want.. n i repeated so many times last week tt i still wan. maybe coz i nv say to anyone specifically. so nobody rmb-ed. haiz. perhaps sth bad.. coz now. i realised e volunteers really quite like talkative.. they dun really listen v carefully during debriefs.. haiz. i think shld improve on this.

anw.. my point is.. wen i realised it. n nobody even said sorry u noe.. maybe i m being too demanding? bt at least wen someone needs sth. n u guys haf like recycled it. at least say sorry? goodness.. they made me feel as if i needed to use an amplifier to make them hear my statement of "why did u guys recycle it wen i still need it?" haiz.. i mean nt in a mean tone.. bt ya. like nobody care like tt. haiz. so i was quite upset.wasn't angry bt disappointed.. yep.. so i became quite emo. n vivien immediately came n helped me move my things over to e other room.. den stalker came over also.. i suppose they noe i unhappy. bt i dun think they noe why. bt even so. i appreciate their kindness. their sensitivity.. yep. really v sweet juniors(: haha.

yep. n stalker really v observant. or rather she rmbs wat i do bah. coz at e end wen kish asked me why i keep stoning. wenxin said tt i've been stoning since i came in. n only stalker said tt i was v high wen i first came in. halfway den stone diao de.. yep.. really feel quite happy tt i've stalker to be there to encourage me. jus like how we said in our emails. we mus continue to encourage n support each other! haha..

yep.. n after tt. i decided nt to make stalker so sad. maybe coz her sessions didn't go well. or maybe coz i wasn't happy. so she was a bit affected also n couldn't high.. so yep.. i really didn't wan to make her moody/emo. so i decided to be happier n jus be e crazy auntie.. yep so i played after tt n was okay(: yep.. n like last fri like tt. stalker n i jus laughed non-stop on e bus. hahaha.. stalker is so nice! really love her! haha. dun worry. i m nt a les. n to be honest. i dun view bi n les/gays normally. so dun worry.. haha.

yep.. n jus realised sth. maybe meiying n vivien v used to my "orders". nt commands.. bt instructions.. like jus nw. be it i ask vivien for help, or she come to me to tell her how to settle some stuff rite.. i realise e moment i say, she will do it. izzit coz she wanted to make me happy? or she's jus v helpful? or is she jus v obedient n will work under ppl's "instructions".. bt i really feel v happy w her helping me. of coz is coz i can slack a bit. ask her help me run all e errands.. bt rather. i feel like i really haf a v supportive person behind me. i dun haf to like beg her to help me wen i m really like damn busy, or like explain to her v long wat i wan. she jus like at e snap of my fingers, get wat i wan n immediately do it for me. nt complaining tt type. humm. yep.. i feel v encouraged wen i work w her. now tt we're closer. as in w meiying n vivien.. bt cannot work w them in e same class le. a bit pity.. n today also a bit leng qing1.. like everyone working tgt in their rooms. all i've is myself in my room:S haiz.. bt only thing tt is v rewarding is my class is small, really easy to handle.. n of coz my kids is like "elites".. v smart.. n activities go on v smoothly.. at least i feel v accomplished after every session:P haha.

yep yep. see wen will we haf e chance to work again.. will really be glad to do so.. now things on hand are class CIP(CAAL) stuff. got quite a bit to do.. den e gift of reading buddy system thingy.. i really hope to get it started fast n hope tt e volunteers can get as much help frm e seniors during this national day period as much as possible. n helping ben n adeline handle their prelims n N's.. yep.. n of coz my own studies.. quite sian. now mon, wed got guit. can only go home at 7. tues got hist consolidation till 5.20. thurs got physics till tt time too:S only fri can go at 1pm. humm. bt maybe guit gonna break for promos soon. yep. haha. den can slack.. yep.. perhaps this is den e JC life i shld be living. nt e current slackin one. yep yep.

go sleep le. need conserve energy for tmr's family outing(: n PW online meetin at night:S

yep yep.

yay. i love stalker(:!:D

kheng, stalker of meiying, e stalker of kheng(:
02/08/08
0124h

I became prettier at 1:04 AM


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